Does my book sound interesting?

Question by BioXorcist: Does my book sound interesting?
Im just starting, this is from the first page but am I writing it in a style that you can understand and get a “feel” for? here is a sample

……….”Watch where you are going boy!” shouted the man but Charlie ignored his mannors and continued running through the crowded streets. “Edmund Bergers Watch Repair Shop” read the sign hanging above the door, it was a dusty venue with clocks hanging on every inch of the walls, it was always dark inside except for a small desk in the back of the room where Charlies Grandfather could be seen working by candlelight on customers broken wrist watches. In the large maginifying glass his Grandfathers eyes were as big as dinner plates as he studied the small mechanisms of the watch he held so carefully in his old hands, the small tools looked like they belonged to some small race of dwarfs that lived in the cupboards and drawers. Charlie Grandfather didnt even hear the door open as he was growing old and his hearing was failing him. Seeing the reflection in the magnifying glass Charlies Grandfather whipped around in his chair and said “Ah Charlie my boy! Welcome!” and he gave him a big hug. “Today is your birthday Papa!, Happy Birthday!”, “Happy Birthday Indeed Charlie, I’m an old man what need have I of birthdays” Charlie studied the watch that lay in a hundred peices ontop of the old mans working desk, “You seem busy Papa so I wont keep you long, tonight Mums throwing you a party will you be there?” “I wouldnt miss it for the world, look here”, and he took out of his pocket a watch made of solid gold “The Mayors watch, can you believe he’s asked me to repair it?”. Charlies Grandfather was so used to being overlooked by society that he concidered it a great honor, afterall it was just a watch, but to the old man it was much more, it meant for once in his life somebody counted on him to do something of great importance. The old mans eyes were fixed on the watch in great awe and splendor, Charlie knew he had lost his Grandfathers attention. “Well I must go Papa, see you tonight at the party!” he said. His Grandfather kissed him on the cheek and smiled “Off you go then”, and Charlie jumped from the table and left the dusty old shop and ran towards the train station. His Grandfather watching him disapear into the crowd from the large window clenching his arm in pain and with a worried look on his face. Charlie boarded the 110 Steamtrain destined his hometown of Bagnolet, tossed two coins into the meter and took his seat. The conductor ushered the passengers onboard and soon the steam hissed from the engines and the train was off, Charlie could see that the Eifell Tower was nearing completion he’d been watching its construction for almost a year now, each day on his trainride home from school.

Best answer:

Answer by Barkleton Jr.
I stopped reading at “mannors”. I’m not sure exactly what your plot is, but you have a lot of cleaning up to do. Once you put this into paragraphs and fix the spelling and grammar errors, it would be a lot easier for I- and everyone else- to give you feedback. Once you do that, I would love to answer your initial question.

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